When you crawl so far up your own arse you lose phone signal.

When you crawl so far up your own arse you lose phone signal.

I think I missed the memo… Did the Recruitment Community get so upset with all the Recruitment bashing threads that one bright spark thought: Joe McRuiter: “Well candidates do things wrong, lets tell them they are rubbish too!” Then the posts began… And lo there were many. Recruiters from all over the UK united to band together with one purpose… To tell LinkedIn that, drum roll, candidates don’t attend interviews and it hurts the Recruiters feelings. In my day my Boss would probably have told me to put my big pants on, make sure I remove it from my KPI’s […]

Read more »
So you slept your way to the middle, now what?

So you slept your way to the middle, now what?

Long Disclaimer: I do not condone any of the stories below, nor do I take responsibility for any of the people involved (I am to fugly to go to jail.) This is a satirical take on some horrible secrets I have seen in Recruitment… Just because I have seen it, doesn’t mean I did it… Lots of different people, from different places, with different sensibilities view Recruiters in surprisingly different ways. The one thing they can all get on-board with (apparently) is that we generally eat our candidates souls… with a nice bottle of Chianti. Recruiters usually fall into two […]

Read more »
Recruitment is Bloody Hard Part 2: The Middle Manager Strikes Back (Spoiler alert he is not your Father, even if he says he is the Daddy.)

Recruitment is Bloody Hard Part 2: The Middle Manager Strikes Back (Spoiler alert he is not your Father, even if he says he is the Daddy.)

People say you should never do a sequel, then some smart ass in the back turns around and lists off every great sequel ever made… Godfather Part 2, Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back, Sharknado 2… etc. The list goes on. However usually a sequel is just a bunch of hack writers who have no creativity trying to cash in on the success of the first film, exactly what I am doing to do… Disclaimer: I am not saying Recruitment is the hardest job in the world, there are tons of jobs that on a physical and mental level are much […]

Read more »
You know what? Recruitment is bloody hard.

You know what? Recruitment is bloody hard.

*Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to hear is true. Only the facts have been changed to protect the guilty I was sitting with one of my first mentors (In recruitment) in a pub last the other night (This took longer to write than expected) catching up and lamenting our life choices, as you do. We got round to the topic of blogging, and my current role in a start-up agency. “You should write a effing blog about how hard recruitment is, all this bashing of Recruiters on LinkedIn and people don’t understand sometimes how bloody hard it […]

Read more »
Sourcing Tricks you (Probably) don’t know but really should.

Sourcing Tricks you (Probably) don’t know but really should.

I recently had an old colleague who had an old presentation of mine (which I already sent him) land on his desk from another source. So thought I would put it on here for everyone to use as it seems to be doing the rounds. A lot of the good recruiters out there will know all this already so apologies for boring you guys. But for the people that don’t understand X-Raying or how powerful it can be… Read on and thank me later. Disclaimer: This is a condensed version of the original powerpoint as it was originally a presentation […]

Read more »
Rested and Relaxed and ready to work… But maybe tomorrow, as nobody wants a recruiter calling on their first day back… Right?

Rested and Relaxed and ready to work… But maybe tomorrow, as nobody wants a recruiter calling on their first day back… Right?

This article will probably get lost in the gluttony of post New Years Recruitment blogs washing through Social Media like a tsunami hitting Becktons Sewage Works, but hey kills 5 minutes am I right? The Christmas break is a funny time. Depending on your propensity to being jolly and generally merry of course. This maybe a shock to you readers but I am a bit of a grinch (shock horror) I just don’t get it. People by people presents for the sake of it in most cases. The charity shops near me do very well after Christmas. I always ask […]

Read more »
On the 5th day of Christmas my Recruiter gave to me… “5 Sh*t CV’s, 4 cancelled interviews, 3 wrong numbers, 2 rebates, and a box of Cadburys Roses!”

On the 5th day of Christmas my Recruiter gave to me… “5 Sh*t CV’s, 4 cancelled interviews, 3 wrong numbers, 2 rebates, and a box of Cadburys Roses!”

Never been a fan of Christmas… I can hear the collectives oohs, hisses and sighs normally reserved for one of James Caan’s posts. Look I can get on board with the fact you can have a drink at 7am and everyone thinks that is normal. However I find the pressure to smile and nod to everything because of “Christmas Spirit” to be rather annoying… If I wanted to do that I would work in Politics or Recruitment… Oh right… Now I get it. The fact I should pander to people more than I do already because of everyone else’s general […]

Read more »
If a Recruiter Sh*ts in the woods and nobody is around to hear it?

If a Recruiter Sh*ts in the woods and nobody is around to hear it?

I don’t want to say the fame and adulation that comes with being blogger has gone to my head… But I have started to notice small changes in the way I view people’s posts (Or “opportunistic drivel” as we call it in the blogging world.) I am by no means an expert on social media, but I believe we use it to be heard? I mean whats the point of writing any form of content and then nobody seeing it? It’s a bit like Michelangelo (Not the turtle) painting the Sistine Chapel and then never letting anyone enter. But what […]

Read more »
If First Dates did Recruitment

If First Dates did Recruitment

I was writing a blog earlier today, and it was going pretty well. I had a cracking Headline, a good body of text, it was hilarious. All the people who’s wages I pay even said so. But… I was writing it because I am trying to blog more, not because an idea came into my head. Then I had a revelation… Have you ever seen the program First Dates? It’s on Channel 4. It’s on about that time when something good has finished and you are waiting for something else good to start. So the premise is to put a […]

Read more »